There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
