Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
