Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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