Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
