Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
pray to the hookup gods
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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