Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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