My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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