you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
