Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
