now i know why i became what i already was.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
