I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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