Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
