TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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