wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
