You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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