I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Found your dick twin last night
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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