and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
