You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
