I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
