we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Mom said you looked used
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
