I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
As shirtless as possible
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
