Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
