I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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