Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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