Betty ford says i'm here all night
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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