Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
