Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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