I think scott just propositioned me for sex
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
