Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
third nipple confirmed
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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