Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
