Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
