I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He felt like a one man threesome
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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