just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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