He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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