So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
