First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
