Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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