Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
