I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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