This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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