you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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