Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
