did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
