How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
