i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
