Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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