I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
