Your dad touched me again.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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