Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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