You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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