No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
