I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
